I recently attended the Fearless Life Experience, a 3-day mindset & leadership event for entrepreneurs in San Diego, surrounded by a small group of other high-achieving performers and leaders. Over the course of three days, we touched on so many things, ranging from how to get over your fear of money and financial failure, to how to make the hard decisions in life like ending a marriage or quitting a job; how to be the best version of yourself; and even what it’s like to cut ties with your family because they keep you from sharing your message with the world. We covered A LOT of stuff. There were lots of laughs and just as many tears.
But through it all, one thing kept coming up: fear.
How fear holds us back. How it keeps us small. And how we really all experience fear, just in different ways.
By the end of the weekend, I had gotten to know these people like family. We shared some of our deepest fears and darkest experiences with one another. We held space for each other. And that process of opening up, exposing our fears, shining light on them, and really truly FEELING them helped us each to shed layers that no longer served us.
We are all so afraid of fear that we push it away. We pretend it’s not there. We make up beliefs and stories to try and protect ourselves from ever getting hurt again, but by doing so, we live in the shadow of fear and let it control our every thought.
We become masters at suppressing our feelings. We push away and resist the things that bring up any negative emotions, and we obsess over chasing after external things that we think will bring us happiness instead. We create a larger and larger gap between how things are now, and how they need to be in the future in order for us to feel happy. Which leads to never feeling enough, always needing to do more, and constantly remaining unfulfilled.
The more you push away fear, the more it’s going to show up in your life.
You will continue to manifest this fear into your external reality until you finally face it. It will show up as “assignments” in romantic partners, business deals, financial struggles, weight gain, alcoholism, poor coping skills, and all those other moments when you think, “I can’t believe this shit is happening to me again!”.
Your fears will keep showing up until you finally pay attention to them.
Life will hand you lesson after lesson after lesson. But if you can master the ability to be present to your fears - to really notice them, to feel them, and to process the emotion fully - then they can’t hurt you anymore. Then, it becomes something that shows you what your true potential really is.
I used to be so afraid to quit my soul-sucking corporate job. I was terrified to listen to the part of me that knew I wasn’t living out my purpose, and that each day I was at that desk, I was wasting precious time that could be spent creating my business, sharing my message, and powerfully serving others. But that fear kept me waking up day after day with a pit in my stomach and anxiety tight in my chest, driving to the office, questioning whether I would ever get the courage needed to take action, and coming home each night miserable and energetically drained.
I let that fear run my life for so long, until I finally did the work around facing, feeling, and releasing my fears through diving deep into personal development and working with a mindset coach. I was able to see that even on the other side of that fear - the fear of success and the fear of failure - I would be okay. Even if things didn’t work out with my business, even if I ended up moving back in with my parents, or needing to take out a business loan, or get a part-time job, or heck, even if I ended up homeless - I would be okay. I would figure it out. I always have, and I always will. And on the other side of that spectrum, if things work out amazingly and I have a seven-figure business that helps people all over the world and all of my dreams have come true, I would still be okay. I would figure it out. I always have, and I always will.
Either way, I would be okay. Once I realized that, the fear didn’t seem so scary anymore. It just felt like this beautiful lesson of what I really needed to do.
When we look at our fears head on, actually sit with them and experience them for what they truly are, we discover that we don’t actually need to be so afraid.
All that we’re actually afraid of is feeling. If you become comfortable with feeling anything, then nothing can scare you. We can change our thoughts and beliefs to support and empower ourselves instead of hold us back, and know that we can actually play this game of life 10x bigger.
So, what could your life be like on the other side of fear?
What possibilities wait for you? What might your reality look like if you stopped letting fear run the show? If you faced the biggest, boldest, scariest fear you have, and simply asked, “What can you teach me?”
Follow your fears. They will lead you where you need to go.
And on the other side, is your Truth. <3
P.S. If you are looking for a mentor to help you get clear on your life vision and purpose and take aligned action toward creating a life/business that lights you up, despite the fears that you feel are holding you back, check out my 1:1 coaching program here.