I know what it’s like to feel stuck. There’s this feeling that things just aren’t quite right in one or several areas of your life, but you don’t know how to put your finger on it. Or you might feel as if there are way too many things going wrong right now that you can’t even figure out where to begin to fix it.
If things aren’t going right for you, there’s a good chance that your mindset needs to be reevaluated. As Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”
Our external world is a mirror. It shows us exactly what’s going on inside our minds. So if your external world is chaotic, stressful, and full of drama, then guess what? That’s the landscape of your mind. Even if you generally think of yourself as a positive, carefree, happy person, it’s still going to be difficult to change your external reality if your mind is currently living in Hot Mess City.
Often times we will look towards a future goal, event, or action and swear that will bring us happiness. Our thoughts usually sound something like, “Once I get the promotion, then I’ll be happy.” Or, “Once I lose the weight, then I’ll feel sexy and beautiful.” Or, “Once I pay off my credit cards, then I can start to really live my life.”
The problem with this state of mind is that you’re depending on external circumstances to dictate the way you feel internally. You’re also giving up responsibility for your happiness.
This is a big one for me because, for many years, I was blaming my outside circumstances for causing my unhappiness. I was always pointing my finger on the job, or the relationship, or the student loan debt, or the drama with my family as the reason why I couldn’t be happy – which gave me permission to sit back and sulk about how bad I had it. (Hint: this is the easy way out, but it doesn’t work.)
I finally got to a point where I felt like enough was enough and I knew that I didn’t want to live that way anymore. I didn’t want to wallow in my self-pity. I didn’t want to feel like a victim of circumstance. I wanted to live a life where I was genuinely happy with myself, whether or not I had the outside surroundings that I thought I wanted. I wanted to feel rooted and grounded in my happiness, and so at peace with myself that the outside world wouldn’t be able to shake me as much as it was.
Wayne Dyer’s book The Power of Intention started this idea for me – that I could reconstruct my inner mindset and my beliefs and views about the world in order to naturally move towards the future I was created for. The book says that we were all created by the same source (God, Spirit, the Universe, Source Energy… whatever you want to call it) and that this source is always available to us at all times to help us co-create whatever reality we have the intention to manifest.
In it, he also talks about the Law of Attraction, which seems to be a buzzword right now in the personal development space. He summarizes this principle as, “The law of attraction is this: You don’t attract what you want. You attract what you are.”
So it’s not enough to say, “I want to be rich. I want to lose 15 pounds. I want to feel confident. I want to grow my business.” That’s the same mentality of a spoiled toddler who’s throwing a temper tantrum at the store because he can’t have the toy he wants.
The real secret to attracting what you want lies in changing your mindset and your belief system to reflect back at you what you truly, deeply want, while trusting that the Universe has your back and will take care of the details.
If you want to lose weight and feel more confident, it’s going to be really hard to do that if you’ve been telling yourself a story since childhood that you’re not good enough and you don’t deserve loving attention from others. If you want to pay off your credit card debt, it’s going to be challenging to do so if you’ve always believed that money is bad because you witnessed your parents fighting over it for years and years, and so your pattern has historically been to spend excessively (thus, causing the debt).
This mindset work isn’t like an infomercial that you see on late night TV. It’s not as easy as buy this product and all your problems with be solved, with a 100% money back guarantee. Nope… this stuff takes WORK. It takes daily action. It takes time to peel back the layers of protection we’ve created to hide who we truly are from the world. It takes a lot of honesty and courage to look at your fears and your beliefs and deconstruct your mind, in order to build up a new mindset that is in alignment with your truest self.
But, I promise you, it can create miracles. By taking an honest look at your mindset – your beliefs, thoughts, and views of yourself and the world around you – you’re able to see what’s truly serving you, and what needs to be released. You’re able to choose, moment by moment, how you want to show up in the world. You’re able to slowly break down the walls you’ve built up and reconstruct your mind to be aligned with the power of what created you, what Dyer calls “the power of intention.” Then, like magic, your outside world starts to reflect back at you all this beautiful inner change you’ve created.
“You feel good not because the world is right, but your world is right because you feel good.”
-Dr. Wayne Dyer
Real change starts within. It starts with the way you view the world. Your mindset is the only thing you are in control of, and by courageously working on changing your limiting beliefs and fears, you are welcoming true happiness into your life. So if you’re feeling stuck right now, the first step you can take is deciding: am I ready to change? Am I ready to let go of the beliefs and fears that no longer serve me? Am I ready to take an honest inventory of my thought patterns and ways that I’m sabotaging myself?
Because you won’t find true happiness in things. You won’t find true happiness in achievements, or life events, or promotions, or external relationships, or money. The source of true happiness is already there, deep within you, just waiting for you to figure it out.
Are you ready to surrender and step into true change? The entire world is waiting for you to take the leap. So, what are you waiting for?
“Once you make a decision, the Universe conspires to make it happen.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson