Rejecting My Vision and Pushing Through My Upper Limit Problem

I have a confession to make: for the past two months, my vision board has been suffocating in the trunk of my car. My dreams. My goals. My vision. It was all locked away, underneath flattened moving boxes, used grocery bags, and those dirty tennis shoes I sometimes use for hiking but never bring inside because they’re covered in mud. Yuck.

I don’t know about you, but re-reading the above paragraph makes me feel pretty lame. It makes me feel like a failure. Like I’d given up on my dreams, on my business, on myself.

But actually, I hadn’t given up on my dreams or my vision. In reality, I had encountered an Upper Limit Problem, and I had no idea it was happening.

Last year, I started my coaching business as a side-hustle while working a soul-sucking corporate job. I signed my first few clients and ran coaching calls during my lunch breaks and woke up most days at 5 am to work from the Starbucks across from my apartment before heading to the office.

It was brand new territory for me. It was fun. It was exciting. I had no idea what I was doing, but somehow, it worked. I booked a few more clients, and then I raised my prices. By a lot. And I booked even more clients. I invested in my own coaches and mentors, and started to see my business grow even more. As I developed more confidence, I started to attract more and more of my dream audience, my “soulmate clients.”

It was exactly what I had been looking for. A career that allowed me to work from anywhere, on my own schedule, creating content and programs that inspired others and truly helped people in a real way. No more bosses. No more 9-to-5. No more corporate. Ever.

And I felt so free. After a few months, I left my corporate job and I took the rest of the year to travel, create, connect, and truly change people’s lives.

But here’s the thing: I had never been my own boss before. And so I missed a lot of the signs that I was encountering an Upper Limit Problem, which basically occurs when you sabotage your own success. (Danielle LaPorte has a great little article about how we resist joy here.)

So, I wasn’t able to check myself.

And I fell victim to some SERIOUS Upper Limits. Beliefs like:

“I’m not good enough to charge this much money.”

“I don’t have enough experience to charge this much money.”

“I’m too young to attract clients older than me - they won’t take me seriously.”

“My anxiety/depression won’t allow me to be successful in my business.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing, so I won’t do anything at all.”

...and other crap like that. It was lame. It wasn’t true. But it was dominating my subconscious. And so, as a result, I struggled. Daily.

My business stopped lighting me up. It stopped being the thing that I focused all my attention toward. I actually avoided talking about, promoting, or thinking about my business.

The problem came from this deep-rooted belief that I wasn’t worthy of it: the success, the clients, the money, the freedom. Deep down, I didn’t think I deserved it.

Which is TOTAL, COMPLETE SHIT. Like, 10000000% s-h-i-t.

But that’s how our subconscious beliefs work. They hide out, under the surface, like a mofo, and wait for you to achieve everything you want. Then, they attack. They sabotage. They retaliate. They cause you to act out, to avoid, to repress, to ignore, to shut down. They cause you to disengage, to curl up in a ball in your bed for hours at a time and sob, to numb out in any way possible.

Thankfully, I have the best support system in the world, and I have the best clients in the world. They reminded me of my worth, without even knowing it. I showed up to our calls and observed them as they courageously and boldly declared their own worth, and took massive action in their own lives toward their dreams. I would finish each call in shock, inspired as ever, as if I could ever forget the power of this work. (Spoiler alert: I didn’t. I can’t. It’s too important, and so, I remembered.)

And now... I’m back at it. Back on the grind. Feeling aligned. On track. And I don’t even mind what happens next. Because I know, deep down with every cell in my body, that you cannot outrun your purpose. You cannot hide from your truth. It will find you, no matter how much you try to resist it. It will creep up and whisper in your ear, it will appear in your dreams, it will show up on your yoga mat, it will pop into your mind when you drift off in traffic. Your truth will follow you until you finally muster up the courage to listen to it.

And for me? My truth is that I am here to serve. I am here to help people. I am here to create, to break the rules, to get my hands dirty, and to empower others to do the same. I’m here to stretch the limits, to question the norm, to unlearn and remember. I can’t ignore that anymore.

Even further, I deserve all of that and more. I deserve to follow my dreams and to have them handed to me as a result of my hard work, dedication, and faith. I deserve to receive abundance, in the form of money, and clients, and praise, and recognition, and beautifully unconditional love. And you do, too.

This is where my energy is focused now: on receiving. Because from that place, I can serve so many more people and give so much more of me.

So, my vision board has come out of the trunk. It’s back on the wall, where it belongs.

I invite you to think about what dreams of yours you have metaphorically (or literally) shoved in the trunk, and which ones you’re ready to reclaim as yours again. Because you deserve it. You do. And the world is ready for you to declare it. <3

As Danielle LaPorte so beautifully puts it, “Remind yourself that you asked for your success. You’re right where you should be. Let your success imprint on your cells. When you believe in your value, you can accommodate more joy.”

With love,
Lauren

 

P.S. For more on the Upper Limit Problem and how to overcome it, I highly recommend Gay Hendrick's book "The Big Leap." Check it out here