I've been thinking a lot about what it actually means when we say we feel "stuck," "confused," "uncertain," etc.
Many of my coaching clients have felt this way in the past. I'm not gonna lie, I was feeling this way for a while, too. It's this overall sense of a lack of fulfillment. Like you're not quite "there" yet... and that distance between where you are now and where you want to be can seem too painful to deal with.
After giving it lots of thought and reflecting on what I know to be true for my private clients and in my own personal life... here's what I've come up with...along with some journaling Qs to help you work through this shit!
The 3 Reasons You Aren't Feeling Fulfilled In Your Life (YET!):
Reason #1: You aren't clear on what you actually want.
First things first, what do YOU want? What does your Higher Self dream of having, doing, being, achieving? This isn't what your parents want, or your partner, or your boss, or anyone else influencing your life. No no... this is all about YOU. Have you given yourself the time and space to really listen to what you want? Whose dreams are you chasing? Have you been running after an idea or a lifestyle that isn't what you actually wanted to begin with? Whose definitions of success are you abiding by?
The moment you stop living for others and start living for and honoring yourself, you become free. You feel less stuck. You have a clearer sense of direction. You have a target to aim at, even if it's fuzzy. So start by tuning back in, meditating, journaling, spending some time in nature, unplugging from technology, and listening to your Soul. Who are you, really, and what do you want? Give yourself permission to go there.
Reason #2: You aren't taking consistent, aligned action.
Soooo many people struggle with this one (myself included!). I'm the type of person who wants to do something perfectly the first time or else not at all. In reality, though, that mindset will keep you stuck 99.999% of the time. Here's the secret about manifesting: you HAVE to take action before you think you're "ready". You can't wait until you have perfect clarity on what it is you're doing or what it's going to turn into. You can't wait until you have your website copy absolutely perfect, or your confidence is through-the-roof high, or your finances are all in place. No. Confidence, clarity, and success comes AFTER you take brave, messy action. It comes from showing up as you are...unprepared, unsure, afraid, and a little crazy... with a burning desire in your heart for something to change, and an attitude AS IF it's already yours. As if your dream is already here, already true. If you aren't taking messy, aligned action every single day... even if it's tiny baby steps... then you probably aren't feeling fulfilled or successful in your life yet.
Reason #3: Your subconscious beliefs are holding you hostage.
Did you know that you think around 60,000 thoughts per day and 90% of them are the SAME THOUGHTS you had the day before? In other words, our conscious mind (the part that "thinks") is literally just recycling the same old shitty thoughts over and over and over again. It's no wonder so many of us feel stuck, unmotivated, frustrated and unfulfilled! On the other hand, 95% of your behaviors and actions are driven by your subconscious brain... only 5% are conscious. So most of the time, we are operating from the subconscious, we just THINK we are in control of this stuff.
The tricky part about your subconscious beliefs is that most of them were formed when you were young as a way to keep you safe. They developed through experiences that you interpreted on a purely emotional level (before you had full use of the cognitive or reasoning part of your brain), and then became ingrained as truth into your adult life (even if you know, on a conscious level, they are BS and not true at all). These beliefs are now holding you back from realizing and/or manifesting who you're actually meant to become and what you're here to do.
So if you keep bumping up against the same feeling of "Why the heck isn't this working yet?!" despite all the self-help books, courses, and webinars you've purchased over the years, and you feel like you're solid on Reasons #1 and #2, then this right here is why. You're battling yourself. You're making it a struggle because of inner conflict. One part wants growth, while the other craves safety. One part desires change, while the other needs comfort. If you can master your beliefs, rewrite and rewire your subconscious stories, and do the work to release any limiting beliefs... then you will have it: anything you want.
Journaling Questions to Help You Break Through:
+ How have I lived for others in the past (in my job/career path, personal health, finances, relationship, etc.)? How did it make me feel? How can I start to live for myself in a more authentic way?
+ If I had no fear, what would I be doing differently in my life right now?
+ If I had a magic wand and could create ANYTHING in my life in 12 months from today, what would my life look like?
+ What are 3 aligned steps I can take today toward making my dream a reality?
+ What stories have I been telling myself that I know are holding me back? How do these stories make me feel? What would be possible for me if I didn't believe these stories? What are some new, more empowering stories I could choose to believe instead?
Remember, you are a co-creator with your Higher Power, always designing and manifesting your life in each moment. You are in control of this whole thing. If you're not happy with what you're seeing, start with these three steps and get really honest with yourself about what needs to change. And know that if you need any support in this process, I am here for you. Just comment below or contact me directly and let me know what's up for you.