How to Deal with a Vulnerability Hangover

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.” - Brené Brown

A few months ago, I wrote an article for a pretty big publication and it just went live this week.

Almost immediately after the editor emailed me with the link, I started to feel it come on: the vulnerability hangover.

It’s that intense, suffocating feeling of, “OMFG, what did I do?!”, followed by a spiraling thought process of how can I hide away in a dark, hidden cave for the rest of my life and never come out?

Here are some tips to deal with vulnerability hangovers BEFORE they even happen, so you don't feel like a deer in the headlights whenever you make an important decision or change.

Here's What Happens When You Follow Your Truth

It can take time for logic to catch up to your intuition. Trust it anyway.
There are decisions you will make in life that come from your heart - things like quitting a soul-sucking job, or ending a relationship that’s no longer serving you, or booking a one-way flight somewhere you’ve never been, or starting your business, or sharing your truth in a vulnerable way.
Your ego mind will try to talk you out of it, and come up with excuses or justifications as to why you should or shouldn’t do the thing.
Do it anyway.

How You Treat Yourself is How Others Will Treat You

Remember when you were little and learned about the Golden Rule? Treat others the way you want to be treated. It’s simple enough, and many of us live our lives in this way.

But what we don’t always think about is how the Golden Rule applies to ourselves. We spend so much time focusing on relationships with our significant others, family, friends, and the world at large, that we often forget one of the most important relationships in our lives: the one we have with ourselves.

You have a relationship with yourself whether you realize it or not. The way you think and behave, the thoughts that run through your head, and the stories you tell yourself about who you are and how the world works are all pieces of this relationship. The way you engage in this relationship with the self and how you treat yourself is a strong indicator of how others will treat you, too.

Shit my Inner Critic Says

She likes to show up when I least expect her. She’ll typically make an appearance whenever things are going pretty well for me, like a pesky cold you can’t get rid of or an irritating relative you have to include in your holiday plans even though you’d really rather not. She comes in full force and swiftly interrupts any progress I’ve made, dragging me down to her level of negativity, criticism, and doubt. Before I know it, here I am listening to all of her bullshit -- and what’s worse is that I believe it, too.

She is my Inner Critic, and she’s a real pain in the ass.

Your Life on the Other Side of Fear

We are all so afraid of fear that we push it away. We pretend it’s not there. We make up beliefs and stories to try and protect ourselves from ever getting hurt again, but by doing so, we live in the shadow of fear and let it control our every thought.

 

We become masters at suppressing our feelings. We push away and resist the things that bring up any negative emotions, and we obsess over chasing after external things that we think will bring us happiness instead. We create a larger and larger gap between how things are now, and how they need to be in the future in order for us to feel happy. Which leads to never feeling enough, always needing to do more, and constantly remaining unfulfilled.

How to ACTUALLY Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

"Feel the fear and do it anyway."  I'm sure you've heard this, or something similar to this, before. It's one of my favorite quotes and I repeat it pretty much daily. As an entrepreneur and recovering perfectionist, this has become one of my life mantras to encourage me to take inspired action in my life and business despite my fear.
But how can you tell the difference between good fear and bad fear? If I "feel the fear" of jumping off a bridge into shark-infested waters, should I still just "do it anyway"? Is that somehow going to make me happier or live a better life?

How I Took Back Control When Anxiety Was Ruining My Life (And How You Can Do the Same, Too)

Not too long ago, I was in a dark place. I was working a 9-to-5 job that had me stressed, overworked, and overwhelmed, but I was too afraid to look at other options. I was in a relationship that wasn’t working, but I was too afraid of what might happen if I were alone to make any changes. I was neglecting my physical health, choosing a poor diet and drinking an excess of alcohol to numb out the pain I was feeling every day. Shit sucked, to say the least.

I started to experience anxiety and panic attacks. The first one hit me hard and it felt like I was going to die. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I’d been practicing yoga for several years and had a pretty regular meditation practice, but I couldn't calm down and I didn't know why. Why couldn’t I get the thoughts to stop? Why was my heart racing so fast? What the hell was going on?!

What I Learned About the Universe from a Pond and a Kayak

I had a spiritual awakening on a kayak today.

I just spent the past several days on a family vacation. I had been with other people all week with very little alone time, feeling stressed out because I wasn’t working on my business as much as I had wanted to, and was over-indulging on wine, ice cream and french fries. (It’s a delicate balance between work and play as an entrepreneur, you know.)

Anyways... I decided to take my family’s kayak out on the small pond behind their house this morning. I made my way out to the center of the pond where the water was still and calm. I just floated there in the kayak for a while listening to the sound of the birds and the trees rustling in the wind, feeling the warm sun on my skin, and admiring the way the blues of the water and the greens of the land complimented each other just so perfectly. I suddenly noticed that the biggest smile had popped up on my face. And in that moment, I realized something: this is the happiness I’ve spent so much time looking for.

How to Live in Alignment

As a mindset and wellness coach, I frequently talk with my clients about living in alignment. But what does it mean to live in alignment? And how can you start to take aligned action in your life?

Be You, Even if the World Wants Something Different

In these moments, you have a choice to respond truthfully, in line with your soul’s deepest desires and cravings, or to put on the mask of what we think the world wants to see. In these moments, you can choose to courageously be yourself or to be whatever it is that the world wants you to be.